I was talking with a friend a little while ago who usually asks me the right type of questions that make me think...now and later. On one of our many long journeys this summer, I got asked "what would say your life song is?" So of course my mind starts going through a bunch of different songs, however, at that moment I really did not know. All songs that came to my mind were more songs about passion this, giving that, and what I would like to be or do. Nothing that really said this is MY life song.
The other day I was doing a few things on m computer and I downloaded a new song MikeChair's Keep Changing the World...if you have not heard it you should youtube it.... Anyways, after listening to that song I took a look at the suggested songs and I came across Remedy Drive's Heartbeat. So I listened to it one time then I had to listen to it a second time...this song is not MY life song but it totally clicked with me because this is how I have felt the last couple months.
This is a draught
Been living without
The one thing life requires
What a mess
Passionless
Somewhere I lost the fire
Oh my my
Where has it gone
Can anybody turn this beat back on
My heart is fast asleep
Dreaming it could bleed
For something that's real
My desperate appeal
God I’m getting tired of the way I feel
When I would rather be alive
I want to wake up
I want to restart
Put the drumbeat back in my heart
I need to be revived
Bring me back to life
Coming on slow head to toe
The pulse is back again
It’s grace in my veins - replacing the pain
Bringing me back from the dead
Oh my my now I can see
You heard me cry emergency
Screaming out for help
You saved me from myself
The fires returned I’m letting it burn
There’s nothing better in the whole wide world
It feels so good to be alive
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Mowing
I drove home last night and got in at 3:30 a.m. which I did not mind the drive at all [there was not as many dumb people driving :) ]. During the drive it was nice being able to talk to a few people via phone and video chat...yes, I stopped at a McD's to steal their wifi and an outlet to charge my phone. :P
The next morning I got up it was nice to just bee bop around doing my own thing with no one to bother me. When I looked outside up at the sky, I could tell it was going to be another gorgeous day but then I looked down at the ground wanting to scream because it looked like a jungle in the front yard...oh no that was not going to happen or stay that way. So I got all ready to go do my thing mowing the front lawn...and yes with a push mower :) For some reason, I am very particular about mowing and sometimes try to do a different pattern. I laced my shoes, strapped on my ipod, put my sunscreen on, filled the tank, then pull pull pull and off I go. Up, down, left, and right but during all of this it was very therapeutic for me. I was able to be in MY own world with no distractions.
While mowing, I was listening to a podcast which talked about the trinity and using analogies. They used many different analogies for the trinity (physical, conceptual, etc.)...an egg, a triangle, a square, a cube, triple point of water, and a few more. The one that made the most sense to me and stuck with me was the triple point of water.
A little bit about the triple point of water...In thermodynamics, the triple point of a substance is the temperature and pressure at which three phases (for example, gas, liquid, and solid) of that substance coexist in thermodynamic equilibrium. The single combination of pressure and temperature at which liquid water, solid ice, and water vapour can coexist in a stable equilibrium occurs at exactly 273.16 K (0.01 °C) and a partial vapour pressure of 611.73 pascals (ca. 6.1173 millibars, 0.0060373057 atm). At that point, it is possible to change all of the substance to ice, water, or vapor by making arbitrarily small changes in pressure and temperature. In addition to the triple point between solid, liquid, and gas, there can be triple points involving more than one solid phase. (yes...that is the nerd side of me showing.)
I'm sure you all have heard different analogies...and the egg analogy reduces God down into parts showing that there is a distinction between the three (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The trinity is one being and three distinct persons simultaneously...one what and three whos. This boggles my mind but looking at it and digging deeper it makes me think...WOW my God is that big and each one of the whos are equally as important. It is quite amazing what and who God is.
I want to continue to be amazed by my almighty God and I know I will never fully fathom the power and capabilities of Him. But I know lately I have just been wanting so much more of him. I have been all over this summer, had some highs and lows...and at times I have put on the "happy go lucky" face to make it through what ever at that moment but my heart has been crying out to him. I want to be filled with him and his mercy, grace, passion, and glory.
The next morning I got up it was nice to just bee bop around doing my own thing with no one to bother me. When I looked outside up at the sky, I could tell it was going to be another gorgeous day but then I looked down at the ground wanting to scream because it looked like a jungle in the front yard...oh no that was not going to happen or stay that way. So I got all ready to go do my thing mowing the front lawn...and yes with a push mower :) For some reason, I am very particular about mowing and sometimes try to do a different pattern. I laced my shoes, strapped on my ipod, put my sunscreen on, filled the tank, then pull pull pull and off I go. Up, down, left, and right but during all of this it was very therapeutic for me. I was able to be in MY own world with no distractions.
While mowing, I was listening to a podcast which talked about the trinity and using analogies. They used many different analogies for the trinity (physical, conceptual, etc.)...an egg, a triangle, a square, a cube, triple point of water, and a few more. The one that made the most sense to me and stuck with me was the triple point of water.
A little bit about the triple point of water...In thermodynamics, the triple point of a substance is the temperature and pressure at which three phases (for example, gas, liquid, and solid) of that substance coexist in thermodynamic equilibrium. The single combination of pressure and temperature at which liquid water, solid ice, and water vapour can coexist in a stable equilibrium occurs at exactly 273.16 K (0.01 °C) and a partial vapour pressure of 611.73 pascals (ca. 6.1173 millibars, 0.0060373057 atm). At that point, it is possible to change all of the substance to ice, water, or vapor by making arbitrarily small changes in pressure and temperature. In addition to the triple point between solid, liquid, and gas, there can be triple points involving more than one solid phase. (yes...that is the nerd side of me showing.)
I'm sure you all have heard different analogies...and the egg analogy reduces God down into parts showing that there is a distinction between the three (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The trinity is one being and three distinct persons simultaneously...one what and three whos. This boggles my mind but looking at it and digging deeper it makes me think...WOW my God is that big and each one of the whos are equally as important. It is quite amazing what and who God is.
I want to continue to be amazed by my almighty God and I know I will never fully fathom the power and capabilities of Him. But I know lately I have just been wanting so much more of him. I have been all over this summer, had some highs and lows...and at times I have put on the "happy go lucky" face to make it through what ever at that moment but my heart has been crying out to him. I want to be filled with him and his mercy, grace, passion, and glory.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Guts...and Glory??
"The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears." --David Whyte
I am reading the book "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson for the second time...It is one that I would recommend to read because it definitely makes you think and be like "hmmm...". Well I was unsure what the true meaning of the word 'vitality' was (I'm a math major..clearly) so I looked it up.
Ok...once I got a better understanding of the word, the quote really hit me along with the rest of what I read. How many times do we let our fears dictate what we do or shall I say don't do? I know for me it happens far too many times and I probably would need a 3 to the 8th power number of people so I could count that on their fingers and toes. :P But seriously, I should not let it happen as much as it does. Too many people let their fears dictate our decisions.
A few more things from the book that I stopped to ponder on:
(I'm pulling the directly from the book because I cannot word them better.)
"loses loom larger than gains. In other words, the aversion to loss of a certain magnitude is greater than the attraction to gain of the same magnitude."
"What is most lacking in the church of Jesus Christ is not education or resources....You know what is most lacking? Good old-fashioned guts! We need people who are more afraid of missing opportunities than making mistakes. People who are more afraid of lifelong regrets than temporary failures. People who dare to dream the unthinkable and attempt the impossible."
A story he uses is Jonathan in 1 Samuel 14:1-23 . Take a moment and read it so you can be familiar with it...Jonathan did not wait for something to happen. He made something happen. He took action and did something daring. And I think it was the conviction that God would act on his behalf if he stepped out in faith that gave Jonathan the guts to climb the cliff.
Lastly, Mark says the will of God is not an insurance plan. The will of God is a daring plan!! How many of us are willing to be daring and step out in faith?? I know for me I hesitate or step out slowly.
However, I pray that my courage and faith in God continues to grow exponentially, so my hesitation is not there. I want to be a witness of Christ through everything I do even if I do get hurt because God is there to pick me up (and my insurance is there to help me get fixed up). :P So Holy Father, please fill me with You so I can become more like you every day.
Mark 6:50b "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."Matthew
Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Mark10:27, Luke 1:37, Luke 18:27)
I am reading the book "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson for the second time...It is one that I would recommend to read because it definitely makes you think and be like "hmmm...". Well I was unsure what the true meaning of the word 'vitality' was (I'm a math major..clearly) so I looked it up.
Vitality-–noun, plural -ties.
1. exuberant physical strength or mental vigor: a person of great vitality.
2. capacity for survival or for the continuation of a meaningful or purposeful existence: the vitality of an institution.
3. power to live or grow: the vitality of a language.
4. vital force or principle.
Synonyms: being, drive, endurance, existence, force, life, liveliness, power, pulse, stamina, strength, venturesomeness
Ok...once I got a better understanding of the word, the quote really hit me along with the rest of what I read. How many times do we let our fears dictate what we do or shall I say don't do? I know for me it happens far too many times and I probably would need a 3 to the 8th power number of people so I could count that on their fingers and toes. :P But seriously, I should not let it happen as much as it does. Too many people let their fears dictate our decisions.
A few more things from the book that I stopped to ponder on:
(I'm pulling the directly from the book because I cannot word them better.)
"loses loom larger than gains. In other words, the aversion to loss of a certain magnitude is greater than the attraction to gain of the same magnitude."
"What is most lacking in the church of Jesus Christ is not education or resources....You know what is most lacking? Good old-fashioned guts! We need people who are more afraid of missing opportunities than making mistakes. People who are more afraid of lifelong regrets than temporary failures. People who dare to dream the unthinkable and attempt the impossible."
A story he uses is Jonathan in 1 Samuel 14:1-23 . Take a moment and read it so you can be familiar with it...Jonathan did not wait for something to happen. He made something happen. He took action and did something daring. And I think it was the conviction that God would act on his behalf if he stepped out in faith that gave Jonathan the guts to climb the cliff.
Lastly, Mark says the will of God is not an insurance plan. The will of God is a daring plan!! How many of us are willing to be daring and step out in faith?? I know for me I hesitate or step out slowly.
However, I pray that my courage and faith in God continues to grow exponentially, so my hesitation is not there. I want to be a witness of Christ through everything I do even if I do get hurt because God is there to pick me up (and my insurance is there to help me get fixed up). :P So Holy Father, please fill me with You so I can become more like you every day.
Mark 6:50b "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."Matthew
Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Mark10:27, Luke 1:37, Luke 18:27)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Defender
This morning I really felt like I needed just some tootling around and Jesus time. So I did those things around the house that I have been putting off for a while now...
During that time, I started thinking about some different things and situations, good, bad, happy, sad, which ever...I came to a conclusion that lead to two options: 1. try to tackle the situation myself where I am momentarily satisfied or 2. call upon the name of the Lord where I would be permanently satisfied. The choice is yours!!!
Well here's a song that came into my head while I pondered on this for...ooooh point two seconds ;-) I hope you enjoy this and are moved by this as much as I am.
During that time, I started thinking about some different things and situations, good, bad, happy, sad, which ever...I came to a conclusion that lead to two options: 1. try to tackle the situation myself where I am momentarily satisfied or 2. call upon the name of the Lord where I would be permanently satisfied. The choice is yours!!!
Well here's a song that came into my head while I pondered on this for...ooooh point two seconds ;-) I hope you enjoy this and are moved by this as much as I am.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Trust
This WHOLE summer has been filled with different traveling adventures. :-) My first summer break as a teacher is about half over as I head up north to the tundra aka Michigan (even thou this time it was a furnace). On our journey up we decided to stop at Starbucks for a couple reasons...reason #1 We LOVE our coffee. reason #2 We NEEDED our caffeine (especially driving late at night). reason #3 We like seeing people's response to "surprise me". reason #4 We LOVE our coffee...wait did I mention that one already :-P
However, this pit-stop was well worth it...Our first stop was at Chipotle and I do not think the workers were very happy with us considering we came in ten minutes before closing. Sorry but tough luck, we were hungry!!! Second, we skipped over to Starbucks to fulfill our desire for caffeine. :-) [You can't have a much more perfect stop than these two places side by side.] I am just going to say that the stop at Starbucks was WELL worth it.
My friend and I LOVE to get drinks with flavor but have the barista surprise us and this time was no exception. The Starbuck baristas totally played into it. I got our usual, Americano, with a flavor and my friend had barista #2 completely surprise her with a drink...before any explanation both drinks were really good :-) Before I tried my drink, barista #1 said if I did not like it he would make me a new one but there aren't many things that I do not like. I tried the drink and usually try to play the guessing game of what is in it...this time it took me three drinks before I got it (my friend said I'm usually pretty good at getting the flavor correct). I did like the flavor and it was the first time that I had it, so point to barista #1. Barista #2 then proceeded to make my friend her drink which ended up being a little more complex than mine. And she could not drink it until she stirred in the whipped cream. Once stirred in and we gave the drink a try, we came to conclusion that it also was a winner and a first time, so point to barista #2.
We ended up doing a recording of that part of the evening because we enjoyed it that much so maybe I'll try to post it later (it'd be a good laugh).
With all this said and done, it made me think while I was driving...and how people put their trust humans to make them drinks, food, what ever yet hesitate trusting God.
Job is a great example of trusting God no matter what. Satan challenges Job's integrity, proposing to God that Job serves him simply because God protects him. Then God removes Job's protection, allowing Satan to take his wealth, his children, and his physical health in order to tempt Job to curse God. Despite his difficult circumstances, he does not curse God, but rather curses the day of his birth. And although he protests his plight and pleads for an explanation, he stops short of accusing God of injustice. Because Job trusted God and did not curse him, "the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before." (Job 42:10b). "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first." (Job 42:12a)
So how much do you trust God? Do you trust Him to protect you no matter what and not curse Him? Can you trust God completely? Maybe what does it look like to trust God?
However, this pit-stop was well worth it...Our first stop was at Chipotle and I do not think the workers were very happy with us considering we came in ten minutes before closing. Sorry but tough luck, we were hungry!!! Second, we skipped over to Starbucks to fulfill our desire for caffeine. :-) [You can't have a much more perfect stop than these two places side by side.] I am just going to say that the stop at Starbucks was WELL worth it.
My friend and I LOVE to get drinks with flavor but have the barista surprise us and this time was no exception. The Starbuck baristas totally played into it. I got our usual, Americano, with a flavor and my friend had barista #2 completely surprise her with a drink...before any explanation both drinks were really good :-) Before I tried my drink, barista #1 said if I did not like it he would make me a new one but there aren't many things that I do not like. I tried the drink and usually try to play the guessing game of what is in it...this time it took me three drinks before I got it (my friend said I'm usually pretty good at getting the flavor correct). I did like the flavor and it was the first time that I had it, so point to barista #1. Barista #2 then proceeded to make my friend her drink which ended up being a little more complex than mine. And she could not drink it until she stirred in the whipped cream. Once stirred in and we gave the drink a try, we came to conclusion that it also was a winner and a first time, so point to barista #2.
We ended up doing a recording of that part of the evening because we enjoyed it that much so maybe I'll try to post it later (it'd be a good laugh).
With all this said and done, it made me think while I was driving...and how people put their trust humans to make them drinks, food, what ever yet hesitate trusting God.
Job is a great example of trusting God no matter what. Satan challenges Job's integrity, proposing to God that Job serves him simply because God protects him. Then God removes Job's protection, allowing Satan to take his wealth, his children, and his physical health in order to tempt Job to curse God. Despite his difficult circumstances, he does not curse God, but rather curses the day of his birth. And although he protests his plight and pleads for an explanation, he stops short of accusing God of injustice. Because Job trusted God and did not curse him, "the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before." (Job 42:10b). "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first." (Job 42:12a)
So how much do you trust God? Do you trust Him to protect you no matter what and not curse Him? Can you trust God completely? Maybe what does it look like to trust God?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Psalm 139
Psalm 139 (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting
Monday, July 12, 2010
Worry vs Concern
Back in the Burg for a couple of days before I hit the road again for a weekend trip to see two of my amazing friends :) On my way up, I was able to have some good, quality "Jesus time"...doing my share of talking then LISTENING!!! The last couple days, weeks, and months I've been asking God to just give me a sign (Isaiah 7:11 "Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights.") but on my way up, I was able to have some good, quality "Jesus time"...doing my share of talking then LISTENING!!!
I loved the weekend I was able to spend with my girl friends because we have not been able to just relax together in a really long time. All three of us are usually rushed or in a time crunch when we are able to see each other OR on the other side of the US. But it was sooo nice to do what ever we wanted to with each other while not having to be overwhelmed with other things.
On my journey back to the Burg (...again), I began to think about some things that have been going on in my life and those around me. The thing that really stuck in my mind was the difference between worry and concern then my mind went directly to the scripture where Jesus says "do not worry."
I am glad that I can say that this is the way mind my went because in most cases I try to take care of the problem or love on the person that much more in order to help. However, Jesus tells us NOT to worry because it does nothing for us (but give us more of a headache...ugh). So I directed my thoughts and feelings to being concern for these people and what is going on and continuing praying for them...it is not that I do not want the uneasiness or trouble in worrying but why should I do something my Lord tells me specifically not to. I pray that I will continue to be aware, engage, interest, and care for those important people in my life...ultimately it is my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Is. 9:6b) who will take care of it all.
Thank you Father for being my firm foundation and ever help ALL the time. I love you!!
I loved the weekend I was able to spend with my girl friends because we have not been able to just relax together in a really long time. All three of us are usually rushed or in a time crunch when we are able to see each other OR on the other side of the US. But it was sooo nice to do what ever we wanted to with each other while not having to be overwhelmed with other things.
On my journey back to the Burg (...again), I began to think about some things that have been going on in my life and those around me. The thing that really stuck in my mind was the difference between worry and concern then my mind went directly to the scripture where Jesus says "do not worry."
Matthew 6:25-34 (Luke 12:22-32)
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry.... O you of little faith? So do not worry...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I am glad that I can say that this is the way mind my went because in most cases I try to take care of the problem or love on the person that much more in order to help. However, Jesus tells us NOT to worry because it does nothing for us (but give us more of a headache...ugh). So I directed my thoughts and feelings to being concern for these people and what is going on and continuing praying for them...it is not that I do not want the uneasiness or trouble in worrying but why should I do something my Lord tells me specifically not to. I pray that I will continue to be aware, engage, interest, and care for those important people in my life...ultimately it is my Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Is. 9:6b) who will take care of it all.
Thank you Father for being my firm foundation and ever help ALL the time. I love you!!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Detox
Yesterday I got back from my missions trip to Mesbilja in Chiapas, Mexico...I am very excited to be home because I missed everyone A LOT but also my heart cries out for a couple people back in Mesbilja. Today from everything that has gone on in the last two weeks I feel like I am "detoxing" mentally, physically, and spiritually.
This was the second time going down to Mesbilja and both times were COMPLETELY different...group dynamics, focus, what went on, what got accomplished, traveling, etc. I'm not going to go into much details about the trip yet but that will come (soon I hope). I do want to say how thankful I am that I have a God who protects every step and has it all planned out. Many times I do not understand or wish it could be different but God has it go the best way for me...whether I am learning something new, gaining new strength, seeing Him differently, or making a connection. God is a God of great things if we are willing to let Him lead and seek His face through any and every thing.
Thank yoU for being so powerful, mighty, loving, caring, and patient with me!!
This was the second time going down to Mesbilja and both times were COMPLETELY different...group dynamics, focus, what went on, what got accomplished, traveling, etc. I'm not going to go into much details about the trip yet but that will come (soon I hope). I do want to say how thankful I am that I have a God who protects every step and has it all planned out. Many times I do not understand or wish it could be different but God has it go the best way for me...whether I am learning something new, gaining new strength, seeing Him differently, or making a connection. God is a God of great things if we are willing to let Him lead and seek His face through any and every thing.
Thank yoU for being so powerful, mighty, loving, caring, and patient with me!!
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